


Am I autistic?

by ifesbob



Category: Archer (Cartoon)
Genre: Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Sterling Archer, Gen, This is a headcanon, and while it's been a while since ive written anything, but it's not strong enough to say for certain, either way as an autistic person i love interpreting Archer's behavior in this way, i hope others get something out of this, not sure if i see this as more of a headcanon or a theory, several years in fact, there's a distinct lack of autistic archer content, there's evidence in canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28516641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifesbob/pseuds/ifesbob
Summary: In which Archer explores the autism criteria and comes to realize how many fit for him
Comments: 7
Kudos: 16





	Am I autistic?

Archer initially wrote off Lana saying that he was autistic. Come on, he thought. I know what autism is. There had been a few autistic people at his school, and he wasn’t like any of them. At least, he had thought that until he was able to tell that the border patrol agents were out of bullets. He didn’t know anyone else who could keep track of bullets like that, who could tell when an opponent was out of ammo.

Hell, the only people Archer had ever known who could produce facts like that which would invite “how do you know that?” comments from others were the autistic kids at his school. And knowing that the border patrol agents were out of bullets was not the first time Archer had said something that others wondered how he knew.  
So, fuck it. He decided that he would look into it. What could it hurt? Thinking this, Archer got out his laptop, opened a Chrome incognito tab, and searched “am I autistic.” He clicked on the first link that came up, which was an assessment for Autism in adults.

The first question on the assessment was “Is your memory like a steel trap, even for facts that you don’t fully understand?” Archer doesn’t know about facts that he doesn’t fully understand, but he is very good at remembering facts relating to things that he is interested in, so he selects “often” for this question.

The second question is “have you always wanted a best friend, but never found one?” He remembered how throughout his time at his boarding school he had not had any friends. Actually, the only friend he remembered having was Lucas Troy, and that ended after Luke died in Vermont. Probably would have ended anyway, because he murdered his fellow ODIN agents, and the unspeakable thing Lukas Troy did to Archer while he was passed out. In the interest of honesty, Archer selects “very often’.

He goes question by question in this fashion, answering honestly. After all, it isn’t official, and the nature of incognito is that nobody will ever know he was on the site in the first place. The results say that he should seek further evaluations. Yeah, not happening, he thinks. But it can’t hurt to look up the symptoms and see how they fit.

He finds the symptoms listed on the CDC website, which he figures is credible. The first set of criteria is about social communication and speech. Archer thought he was really good at this, but Lana’s comments to Cyril are making him less certain about that. He is also reminded of the time he thought someone was being sarcastic when they told him not to open the nuclear warhead. Now that Archer really thinks about it, he realizes there have been a lot of times when he misinterpreted what someone else said. He doesn’t think he has problems socially, as a general rule, but he figures that if he actually is autistic, it would be hard for him to know how he acts socially.

The criteria also mention intense, limited interests. Throughout his life, Archer has had a few of those. There’s almost always at least one occupying him. People are frequently freaked out when he recites or mentions facts from those. For most of his life, he has had a connection with animals. He particularly likes big cats, and his fear of crocodiles and alligators comes from knowing a lot about them. Lana, for example, was shocked that he could recite deadly alligator and crocodile attacks. His obsession with Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins frequently baffles people. He also spent a lot of time reading about guns, which was why he was so good at recognizing them in combat. As for the counting, it just happened. Like his perfect situational awareness, it just happened, it wasn’t something he tried to learn. 

At school, when the possibility of sharing information about his interests came up, he would almost always take it. This was part of why he was so attractive as a victim to those that bullied him. His social awkwardness and his lack of friends also contributed to this. God, he thinks, I really was an awkward child. The fact that he was extremely dedicated to lacrosse, more than the rest of his teammates, and the way in which he was dedicated to it, made him even more attractive to them.

Archer didn’t really think that he had sensory issues. He was around gunfire all the time, and outside of very human limitations in hearing and his tinnitus, he did not mind it much. Actually… wait. Maybe his contrarian comment about finding repetitive motion calming was actually accurate. He really, really liked the way firing guns felt. He liked gunfire, as long as it wasn’t directed at him. But overall, he really didn’t think he had any particular “hyper- or hyposensitivity to the environment”.

The criteria mention issues with change. He has always been strict about the times that Woodhouse do certain things. He hates when things don’t happen the way he was expecting. Though he did fill out the forms, the fact that the system for acquiring weaponry was changed initially really upset Archer. He hated when others touched his things for that reason as well.

His final verdict is that it is a possibility, but he doesn’t think it’s a very big possibility. Sterling Malory Archer, World’s Best Secret Agent, autistic? He doesn’t think so. It doesn’t sound like him. He’ll acknowledge the possibility, but that’s as far as he’ll go.

**Author's Note:**

> Archer would definitely have a very specific (and mostly incorrect) idea of what autism is, and the idea that he could be autistic would definitely conflict with his image of himself.


End file.
